There's a New TD In Town
by theyseemetr0llin-theyhatin
Summary: It's lonely in Team Delusional but soon Daryl finds someone else with theories just as crazy as his own.


It was lonely being on Team Delusional but Daryl Dixon took pride in his beliefs. Who cared if Beth's brain had splattered onto Rick's face or if by the time they buried her, the rigor mortis had set in? Beth Greene was alive and Daryl was positive of it. Since her death he'd spent his free time either crying or writing theories about how she would return. He looked at the clocks, always making a note of what happened at 6:10 and just knew Beth would find her way back to him on the sixth Monday of the tenth month, never mind that there was no sixth Monday in any month.

But, it was a sad, lonesome existence.

No one else in Team Fam believed Beth was alive and even the few people who humored Daryl snickered behind his back. He was growing tired of being the only person who believed in her return and truthfully, Daryl wanted more members of Team Delusional. His plan was to scout a few new additions, people who could come up with just as wild and just as crazy theories.

It was 6:10pm, Daryl was clutching a picture of Bigfoot that Aaron had taken while out on a run that Daryl believed to be a picture of Beth, when a knocked came on his bedroom door.

Could it be? Could it be her?

Daryl wiped his tears, pulled his hair down over his face super-sexy like, the way Beth preferred it, and answered his bedroom door.

His heart immediately sank. It wasn't Beth. Nope. Just Carol.

"Howdy pookie," Carol whispered, wiggling her eyebrows at him provactively. "Wanna go down?"

She giggled and Daryl's stomach turned. Carol was like a sister to him but she refused to feel the same familial bond with him. Instead it was always sexual jokes, even after yeeeeears of Daryl not returning anything. Her hope that they would one day get together was going to drive him to drinking the last bit of moonshine he'd saved from his time with Beth, even though originally he'd planned for them to drink it together when she came back to him on Buttons.

"What can I do for you?" Daryl asked. If he could get rid of Carol, he could go back to analyzing how the green ties he used to wear around his ankles meant Beth would come home being pulled on a green sled in winter.

"You can approve my application," said Carol.

She held up one of the forms he'd set out in the hallway. In bold letters on top he'd written "TD Club Application." He snatched it from her hand in excitement.

"You want to join Team Delusional?!"

Daryl's heart fell when he saw an example theory at the bottom of the page. A tear slid down his face and dropped dramatically onto the paper, smearing the ink. Carol misunderstood, and nodded happily at the sight of the moisture spilling down Daryl's face.

"Beautiful, huh?"

Daryl started reading out loud. "How Daryl and I will finally hook up: A theory by Carol Peletier."

"Go on, it's gold," Carol said.

"It says here we'll fall in love after Shiva sprays pee on me to mmark me as her mate. You'll stab her in the brain and hose me down, wiping away her piss. I'll come to my senses and we'll shag in front of Shiva's cage. Morgan will object and I'll prove my love for you by beating him to a pulp?"

Carol nodded happily. "So? Am I in? Am I part of TD?"

"TD is about Beth's return," he said impatiently. "What are you doing?"

Carol turned her head like she was waiting on Daryl to strike her.

"Go on," she said, dramatically. "I'm not scared of your anger, you beautiful, vulnerable manchild."

Daryl sighed and plopped down on his bed, cringing when Carol dropped down next to him.

"Look at us," she said with a wink. "We're laying down next to each other, our slow burn is speeding up some, huh?"

He wanted to point out the obvious - that they weren't touching and never would but he knew it'd go right over her head. Carol had been finding the most ridiculous clues for years about how supposedly they were steadily growing closer and every time Daryl pointed out proof of the opposite she ignored him. Like that currently, she technically lived in a creepy old house, after having deserted the family, or that she'd been eating Zeke's fruit, or how Daryl had left her there despite these epic romantic feelings he supposedly had. Never mind the fact that she'd boinked Tobin before running away even though the man of her dreams, Daryl, had been right there. Sometimes Daryl was positive even Carol didn't ship it but it didn't stop her from shipping Caryl.

"Ya know, since you're looking for theories, I've got another one!"

Daryl stayed silent. He didn't like to talk too much anyway, not even on a good day, he preferred to stay quiet so that when Beth started singing her way home he'd hear her.

"Well, I think we're going to hook up next week!" Carol exclaimed.

"We're going to war with Negan next week, lady."

"Oh hush. You and I are going to get together. Actually we might already be together, I'm not sure. Even though we've never kissed, never proclaimed our love for each other, and have shown interest in other people, sometimes I delude myself into saying we're canon!"

"Right," Daryl grumbled...or was it mumbled?

"I've got another one! Wanna hear it?"

Daryl would've rather taken a shower, his least favorite thing to do ever in the history of ever but once again, picked silence.

"You and I are paralleling Zeke and Shiva! I'm Zeke, obvs cuz I'm a queen and he's a king, and you're Shiva! They're super close and have a special bond so we do too. It's proof we'll get together."

"Are you sayin' Zeke fucks his cat, Carol?"

"Well...I hadn't quite worked that part out yet, but ya know. Caryl 5eva."

She kept going and going and Daryl wanted to throw himself out of the window. She even had theories that compared him and her to Richonne, which Daryl found ridiculous because supposedly Carol thought Rick and Michonne had a cheap relationship, so why would she want to be compared to that? Of course, none of it mattered...so long as it gave her hope.

Hope.

It was exactly the type of thing Daryl was needing in his quest for Beth. Carol was batshit crazy and had a few screws loose but Daryl had to give it to her, her theories were remarkably quacky, exactly the type of thing he needed.

Hell, Carol was already Team Delusional, just a different sort. Team Delusional 2.0. He could fault her insane ideas about the two of them together but not her ability to craft hopeful and uplifting theories. It took a special type of talent to turn nothing into something and Daryl desperately needed someone with that type of skill.

"Hey Carol?" he asked.

"Yeah, Pookie?"

She scooted closer to him, forcing Daryl to scoot further away in reaction until he rolled completely off the bed and landed with a thud. If Carol noticed she said nothing.

"You can be in my club, Team Delusional. You're crazy enough. But you can only write theories about Beth."

"Why would I write theories about Beth?"

"'Cause she's alive! And she's coming back. Just yesterday I was in the yard at 6:10pm and found a lady bug crawling on a green leaf."

"OH! Was it a Cherokee Rose...if so you know what that means?"

"What in tarnation?" Daryl asked, exhausted from the conversation. It was his scheduled time to cry while clutching Beth's knife and he was ready to get this over with it. "Carol, if you wanna be in my team you can only write about Beth. That's it, it's theories are just what I need but your topic ain't shit. Only Beth."

"Fine, Pookie. If it brings us closer together, I'll write about Beth."

Daryl had a funny feeling he was going to live to regret this decision but desperate times call for desperate measures. With a sigh he stood up, pulled a stale ass cigarette out of his back pocket and light it up in the house because he was sexy and cool like that.

Carol smiled at him and batted her eyelashes.

Once Daryl was finished with his smoke he put the cigarette out on the paper Carol had given him Again, if Carol noticed the slight she choose to ignore it.

"Carol, welcome to Team Delusional. You're exactly the type of bathshit crazy we need."


End file.
